Comments on: The Hardest Help to Ask For http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/ earnest & unblushing | embracing uncertainty Tue, 19 Jul 2011 23:06:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: EllenNordahl http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-268 EllenNordahl Mon, 10 May 2010 06:35:09 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-268 I admire you so much for seeking out help, and joining a group with other young women. I think it's amazing that you were not only able to get past your low point, but used it as an opportunity to learn how to trust and open up to new people. I'm sorry that your friend wasn't more receptive to your efforts to get her to seek help; I hope that she will realize how much she is missing out on by continuing to try to pretend everything is just dandy. I admire you so much for seeking out help, and joining a group with other young women. I think it's amazing that you were not only able to get past your low point, but used it as an opportunity to learn how to trust and open up to new people. I'm sorry that your friend wasn't more receptive to your efforts to get her to seek help; I hope that she will realize how much she is missing out on by continuing to try to pretend everything is just dandy.

]]> By: EllenNordahl http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-269 EllenNordahl Mon, 10 May 2010 06:32:35 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-269 Thank you for sharing your experience, Steve. I think the stigma surrounding depression is almost as difficult to battle as the depression itself. I'm so glad you were able to find the help you needed to live free from the darkness. Thank you for sharing your experience, Steve. I think the stigma surrounding depression is almost as difficult to battle as the depression itself. I'm so glad you were able to find the help you needed to live free from the darkness.

]]> By: Carlee Mallard http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-267 Carlee Mallard Fri, 07 May 2010 19:52:42 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-267 I love how open and honest you are in this post. I, too, went through a low-period my last semester in college. Being a psychology major perhaps I was more self-aware of what I was going through and came to a quick realization that I needed to contact someone at our on-campus student counseling office. I ended up joining a group of 6 other girls every week for a group counseling session to support each other in what we were going through. It was more difficult telling me peers about my problems than talking one-on-one to a therapist who "couldn't judge me", but it was so worth it. Not only did they give me the support I needed, but I learned how to open up to complete strangers and learned how to be compassionate and empathetic for another's situation.<br><br>Flash forward 1 year. I've graduated. Moved to another city and back again. I have my first full-time permanent job. I just moved in with my "best friend" (at the time), and we're living the life. I notice that my friend is going through a rough time dealing with a new job in a new city, a boyfriend living in foreign country, and the death of another close friend. I knew the signs and I offered my help. I told her it was OK to seek help, but her pride took over her mind and she refused to acknowledge that she even had a problem. I remember her defensive response and I remember knowing that things between us might never be the same.<br><br>The point of this story, I think, is that people need to know how to ask for help on their own. People need to know about the warning signs and know that they're by no means alone. Too many people are afraid to let anyone think they're not perfect at all times. And as much as I was trying to help, I think I ended up causing more harm than good.<br><br>Thanks for bringing the elephant to the table, Ellen. I love how open and honest you are in this post. I, too, went through a low-period my last semester in college. Being a psychology major perhaps I was more self-aware of what I was going through and came to a quick realization that I needed to contact someone at our on-campus student counseling office. I ended up joining a group of 6 other girls every week for a group counseling session to support each other in what we were going through. It was more difficult telling me peers about my problems than talking one-on-one to a therapist who “couldn't judge me”, but it was so worth it. Not only did they give me the support I needed, but I learned how to open up to complete strangers and learned how to be compassionate and empathetic for another's situation.

Flash forward 1 year. I've graduated. Moved to another city and back again. I have my first full-time permanent job. I just moved in with my “best friend” (at the time), and we're living the life. I notice that my friend is going through a rough time dealing with a new job in a new city, a boyfriend living in foreign country, and the death of another close friend. I knew the signs and I offered my help. I told her it was OK to seek help, but her pride took over her mind and she refused to acknowledge that she even had a problem. I remember her defensive response and I remember knowing that things between us might never be the same.

The point of this story, I think, is that people need to know how to ask for help on their own. People need to know about the warning signs and know that they're by no means alone. Too many people are afraid to let anyone think they're not perfect at all times. And as much as I was trying to help, I think I ended up causing more harm than good.

Thanks for bringing the elephant to the table, Ellen.

]]> By: Steve Woodruff http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-265 Steve Woodruff Fri, 07 May 2010 15:03:47 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-265 Ellen, I fought depression in vain for decades - from childhood into my 40's. The dark clouds were a daily companion, yet the stigma of admitting that I had a problem (and the fact that I was so used to it that I couldn't conceive of a better reality) kept me from admitting that I had a problem. The solution was, in fact, an adjustment of brain chemistry - a pill. After two days on an anti-depressant, I woke up happy and at peace for the first time in my adult life - and now it has been 7 years of new life. Thank you for taking the reins and talking about this openly - many others, perhaps, can be spared from having years of their lives robbed by this darkness... Ellen, I fought depression in vain for decades – from childhood into my 40's. The dark clouds were a daily companion, yet the stigma of admitting that I had a problem (and the fact that I was so used to it that I couldn't conceive of a better reality) kept me from admitting that I had a problem. The solution was, in fact, an adjustment of brain chemistry – a pill. After two days on an anti-depressant, I woke up happy and at peace for the first time in my adult life – and now it has been 7 years of new life. Thank you for taking the reins and talking about this openly – many others, perhaps, can be spared from having years of their lives robbed by this darkness…

]]> By: Get Some Help « StickyFigure http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-266 Get Some Help « StickyFigure Fri, 07 May 2010 11:12:57 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-266 [...] few moments and read this, penned by Amber Naslund this week (don’t miss the comments!). And this personal plea, by Ellen Nordahl. Read this book review (Moving Beyond Blue) I posted a few days [...] [...] few moments and read this, penned by Amber Naslund this week (don’t miss the comments!). And this personal plea, by Ellen Nordahl. Read this book review (Moving Beyond Blue) I posted a few days [...]

]]> By: Moving Beyond Blue « Impactiviti blog http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-264 Moving Beyond Blue « Impactiviti blog Fri, 07 May 2010 09:59:35 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-264 [...] giving personal stories about depression and encouraging more openness (from Amber Naslund and Ellen Nordahl). I encourage you to read [...] [...] giving personal stories about depression and encouraging more openness (from Amber Naslund and Ellen Nordahl). I encourage you to read [...]

]]> By: EllenNordahl http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-261 EllenNordahl Fri, 07 May 2010 09:11:43 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-261 I love your comment about retraining your mind - my therapist pointed out that a lot of the feelings we experience are experienced that way because of the patterns that have formed in our brain over time; a key component of combating feelings of anxiety/depression is to literally work to rewire our thought patterns. <br><br>I think an important part of any medical treatment is not being afraid to be an advocate for yourself and ask questions. I'm thankful that you found a doctor who didn't accept something just because it was the way you'd been treated in the past. Finding a doctor (and a therapist) who truly hold your best interests at heart is crucial in getting to the core of mental health issues.<br><br>My mom and I have gone to several therapy sessions together (my parents divorced when I was 16, and it wasn't pretty). Having a third party there to mediate while you unload baggage/talk through your emotions is incredibly relieving because it creates a safe space for you to say what you truly feel. Even though their divorce happened 8 years ago, I was still amazed by the issues we were able to finally lay to rest after airing them during counseling.<br><br>And, lastly, thank you for the lovely shout-out on Twitter :) I love your comment about retraining your mind – my therapist pointed out that a lot of the feelings we experience are experienced that way because of the patterns that have formed in our brain over time; a key component of combating feelings of anxiety/depression is to literally work to rewire our thought patterns.

I think an important part of any medical treatment is not being afraid to be an advocate for yourself and ask questions. I'm thankful that you found a doctor who didn't accept something just because it was the way you'd been treated in the past. Finding a doctor (and a therapist) who truly hold your best interests at heart is crucial in getting to the core of mental health issues.

My mom and I have gone to several therapy sessions together (my parents divorced when I was 16, and it wasn't pretty). Having a third party there to mediate while you unload baggage/talk through your emotions is incredibly relieving because it creates a safe space for you to say what you truly feel. Even though their divorce happened 8 years ago, I was still amazed by the issues we were able to finally lay to rest after airing them during counseling.

And, lastly, thank you for the lovely shout-out on Twitter :)

]]> By: EllenNordahl http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-262 EllenNordahl Fri, 07 May 2010 09:04:44 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-262 Thank you for sharing your own decision to proactively seek counsel during a difficult time in your life. Having a supportive family makes such a tremendous difference when deciding to acknowledge that you need help. While the whole "chin up/suck it up/deal with it" attitude does seem to be the norm in older generations, I think we've seen time and time again that problems don't go away simply because you refuse to pay attention to them. <br><br>And, I have to agree with you that finding a great therapist/psychologist can truly expedite the recovery process and provides a wonderful sense of security. <br><br>I can't tell you how much I appreciate your willingness (and the willingness of Lindsey and Sam) to share your own experiences - I feel like one of the most powerful elements of a mental illness is its ability to make its sufferers feel isolated and as though no one else can relate to them. Thank you for sharing your own decision to proactively seek counsel during a difficult time in your life. Having a supportive family makes such a tremendous difference when deciding to acknowledge that you need help. While the whole “chin up/suck it up/deal with it” attitude does seem to be the norm in older generations, I think we've seen time and time again that problems don't go away simply because you refuse to pay attention to them.

And, I have to agree with you that finding a great therapist/psychologist can truly expedite the recovery process and provides a wonderful sense of security.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your willingness (and the willingness of Lindsey and Sam) to share your own experiences – I feel like one of the most powerful elements of a mental illness is its ability to make its sufferers feel isolated and as though no one else can relate to them.

]]> By: EllenNordahl http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-263 EllenNordahl Fri, 07 May 2010 08:57:47 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-263 Thank you for sharing, Lindsey. Writing this post wasn't the easiest thing in the world for me, but watching other people refuse to seek help or acknowledge their problem is ultimately much more difficult than deciding to share my own struggles. Thank you for sharing, Lindsey. Writing this post wasn't the easiest thing in the world for me, but watching other people refuse to seek help or acknowledge their problem is ultimately much more difficult than deciding to share my own struggles.

]]> By: EllenNordahl http://www.ellelamode.com/2010/05/mental-health-issues-the-elephant-in-our-generations-room/comment-page-1/#comment-260 EllenNordahl Fri, 07 May 2010 08:54:01 +0000 http://www.ellelamode.com/?p=403#comment-260 I can attest to the fact that the stresses and rollercoaster ride of the job search were definitely exacerbated by my depression. Perhaps career services could have some kind of information guide/help-tips for coping with stresses of finding a career, and include some "red flags" or warning signs that students should seek outside help from the counseling services to help them cope? I think acknowledging that it is a problem within the student body might sway some students to seek the help/resources they need. I can attest to the fact that the stresses and rollercoaster ride of the job search were definitely exacerbated by my depression. Perhaps career services could have some kind of information guide/help-tips for coping with stresses of finding a career, and include some “red flags” or warning signs that students should seek outside help from the counseling services to help them cope? I think acknowledging that it is a problem within the student body might sway some students to seek the help/resources they need.

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