Three months ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of renewing my lease and settling down into post-collegiate life in Madison.  Phase one of my Wisconsin exit strategy  was in full swing – I networked like a banshee at SXSW, contacted everyone from alumni to people my mom sends Christmas cards to, and was geared up to send out job applications en masse.  When I got a call to interview for a position here in Madison at Epic, I figured if anything, I should take the chance to sharpen my skills.  For once, I wasn’t a bundle of nerves during an interview, and things went surprisingly well.  In spite of that, I was still shocked when I got a call two weeks later offering me a position as a Recruiter.

That wasn’t part of The Plan.

For the better part of the last few years, I’ve been living only for the future.  Rarely have I done something spontaneously simply because it’s rewarding in and of itself – most everything has been a component of some overarching “bigger picture” that I’ve thoughtfully mapped out (and I did literally map it out as part of a long-term career path project for my capstone marketing course).  I somehow convinced myself that it wasn’t a big deal that I had no social life because I’d have one someday. I’d stick my neck out and try to make some new friends someday. I’d be happy…someday.

Here’s one thing you won’t learn in business school: there’s something wholly unsatisfying about living your life as though it’s a 5 year corporate strategy.  Maybe that strikes many of you as being obvious, but as someone who thrives in a structured environment, that realization hasn’t come to me overnight.  It’s easy to get sucked into the mentality that you’ll achieve that elusive sense of completion once you starting hitting the milestones of The Plan.  I hit the first milestone when I landed my gig at a marketing firm here; to put it bluntly, I didn’t feel fulfilled in the slightest.

So when I accepted my new job, I threw The Plan out the window.  To paraphrase Jason Fried, plans are irrelevant.  Externalities are a bitch.  You’ll run yourself ragged (and miss the bigger picture) if you always try to re-chart your course of action to accommodate for them.

The question I wish I had been asking myself throughout my job search is “What do I want to be TODAY?”  Many of us get so caught up in the throes of finding the elusive “perfect job” that we rarely pause to re-evaluate and expand our search to consider other options.  Had I stuck to the straight and narrow of my idealized career path, chances are I’d still be grinding away doing the same rather uninspiring work that I should have loved because I loved my major.  Yikes.

For the time being, the future I’m concerned with extends only as far as next weekend (don’t worry Mom, I’m still contributing to my 401(k)), and it’s liberating in a way I never expected.

Stop micromanaging your life and living for someday.  All the planning and foresight in the world is useless if it causes you to miss tremendous opportunities that are right in front of you.  Feeling directionless is terrifying, but so is being blind to a world of unconsidered possibilities.

If you’re like most young professionals (or soon-to-be graduates), chances are you’re not exactly rolling in the benjamins.  In spite of your limited cash flow, there are three essentials that are worthwhile investments, especially if you’re still in the throes of the job hunt.  The emphasis here is that these are investments, and as such, might set you back more than you had originally anticipated.

We’ve all been made fully aware that “first impressions matter.”  While the following will likely help you make a favorable first impression, I’m not really concerned about the reactions of other people.  What I am concerned about is you, and that which will imbue you with a sense of self-confidence and poise to set you apart from the masses.  When you’re comfortable in your own skin and proud of your appearance, other people take notice.  You walk with your chin held high, shoulders back, unafraid to make eye contact with others and flash a smile because you look (and feel) great.  The term “power suit” wasn’t coined for nothing.

1. A tailored blazer/suit jacket.

Women:  I detested the boxy and constricting blazers I wore during my first internship…until I realized that this is one article of clothing for which quality of construction is crucial.  I’m appalled by the ill-fitting “suiting” jackets of stores like Express and The Limited; for the money, the fit, material, and overall appearance of their garments is laughable.  Before my senior year, I purchased my first Theory tailored jacket.  Not cheap, but I can honestly say that whenever I pull it on, I feel polished and incredibly confident.  Some of their pieces are trendier than others, but if you’re looking to make a significant investment in something that is both youthful and professional at the same time, Theory is a safe bet.  I’m also consistently impressed by the blazers designed by Elizabeth and James and Rag and Bone.  If you’re still not convinced that you need such a spendy piece of clothing, consider this: research has shown that women experience improved cognitive performance and self-esteem when wearing fashionable clothes.

Men: I’m no expert when it comes to men’s suiting, but thankfully, the brilliant team over at the Art of Manliness is.  They’ve written a plethora of posts devoted to dressing correctly for your body type and curating a wardrobe. Both A Tailored Suit and Esquire do an excellent job breaking down the various styles of men’s suits and how to properly fit them.

If you’re in need of sartorial inspiration, or still feel clueless about dressing like an adult, check  out Put This On, The Sartorialist, Street Etiquette (men only) and Garance Dore (female only).

2. A timeless pair of shoes.

Women: Now’s not the time to splurge on the killer pink heels you’ve been lusting after for months.  You want a pair of heels of reasonable height (I wouldn’t go with anything more than 3″) that are black, stylish, and most importantly, comfortable.  If you’re teetering like you’ve had one too many gimlets or are likely to roll an ankle while cruising the office corridors, save the shoes for a Saturday night and go with something slightly more practical.

Men: Leave the scuffed pair of dress shoes you’ve had since high school behind. End. Of. Story.

Cole Haan designs gorgeous, classic shoes for both men and women.  Women should note that many of their their pumps incorporate Nike Air technology, making them the most comfortable pair of heels I’ve ever worn.  Simply put, they’re worth every penny.

3. A great haircut.

Whether you’re going in for an interview or starting your first day of work, an unkempt, unruly head of hair, or one with a skunk stripe where your roots have grown out won’t do you any favors.  While the $10 haircuts offered at many franchises seem like a good deal, there’s something to be said for developing a relationship with a stylist/barber who will give you a great haircut every time.  I feel slightly silly admitting that my current hair genius is one of the reasons I’m excited to be staying in Madison for my new job.  Having seen way too many women sporting wanna-be Beckham bobs in the past few years, I appreciate having someone who will honestly tell me if a haircut won’t be flattering.

If you’re in the market for a hair stylist, don’t shy away from asking someone with a great haircut where they get it done.

I doubt that women will need much convincing on this point, but men should give these pieces (both from the Art of Manliness) a read – they present a convincing case for picking and sticking with a barber.

I realize that you can find cheaper alternatives to any of these, but in my experience, you get what you pay for.  It makes more sense to spend more money on something that will give you years of use than to skimp on spending and find yourself repurchasing the same thing in a year or two.

Have you made any of these investments, or would you?  Do you think there are any other items of note that I’ve overlooked?

While I was out to eat with some of my favorite people from SXSW, the conversation turned to the documentary “The September Issue” and the surprising differences between the two most powerful women of Vogue: Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington.

Anna Wintour and who?

Precisely.

For all her genius, Grace Coddington is hardly a household name.  She is the sole reason I continue to buy Vogue – had I not seen the documentary, I would have ceased to crack its cover after it ran a feature on a “plus-size super model” who wears a size 4. I don’t care about the designer dresses the trust fund twenty-something crowd wears to the token benefit galas they use to justify the $1600 expense, nor am I interested in Vogue’s “compelling” celebrity interviews.  What I am interested in is the latest gorgeous photo shoot dreamed up by Coddington, the magazine’s Creative Director.  Anna Wintour may be the face of Vogue, but Grace is the visionary who elevates fashion to an other-worldly, awe-inspiring art.

Coddington is a bit of a rogue within the Vogue offices.  At 69, she’s refused to have any work done (a decision that stems, in part, from the series of operations she had after a car accident).  When she’s not pleased with a decision Wintour has made, she’ll march through the corridors to her office in her standard attire: plain black dress, black shoes, flaming-red hair flying in all directions.  Wintour, on the other hand, always looks impeccable: hair perfectly coiffed, she embodies the lifestyle Vogue preaches to the masses.

Our conversation about the documentary made me question the role of appearance in our careers and the opportunities we have for recognition and success.  I wondered if Grace’s “appearances be damned” attitude was one of the reasons she hasn’t been popularized by the press, or focused on during the media-frenzy that surrounds fashion week.  Little is said about her, though she regularly sits next to Wintour during the shows.

Wintour (left) and Coddington (right)

In spite of her now-stark contrast to Wintour’s manically crafted image, it’s interesting to note that Coddington’s looks launched her career in the fashion industry – she won the Vogue Young Model competition in England, and later landed a job as a stylist with British Vogue.

As it turns out, our propensity to favor more stereotypically attractive people is something ingrained in our brain.  In a study conducted with 100 babies, none of whom were more than 3 days old, Dr. Alan Slater found that when the infants were shown pictures of average women and female models, they spent 60-65% of their time looking at the more attractive face.

Furthermore, favoritism toward attractive people begins at birth, reports Dr. Gordon Patzer of Roosevelt University. Patzer explains “in a nursery, before new-born babies are released from a hospital, those babies higher in physical attractiveness – at this level defined as more cute – are touched more, held more and spoken to more.”

In their study “Beauty, Productivity and Discrimination,” researchers Daniel Hamermesh and Jeff Biddle found that “Unattractive men earned 15% less than those deemed attractive, while ‘plain’ women earned 11% less than their more attractive counterparts. What’s more, the possibility of a male attorney attaining early partnership directly correlates with how handsome he is.”

If Coddington is a reminder that image doesn’t always trump talent, Wintour is the champion of the idea that “it is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.”  In the documentary, she goes so far as to suggest that a cameraman who steps in to play a part in a photo shoot have his belly Photoshopped out.  Upon hearing this, Grace calls the art director and demands that he leave the camera man untouched.

She explains, “Not everything can be perfect in the world.”

I’m interested to hear your thoughts – how much of an impact do you think appearance has on one’s career opportunities, and do you have any experiences or stories to relate?

This past week has been full of firsts.

I just got back from my first SXSW, which, along with being the first career-related conference I’ve ever been to, was my first time traveling alone.  It was also the first time I fully realized that, like so many of my good friends and peers, I’m plagued by the Impostor Syndrome.

The Impostor Syndrome was first identified in the research of psychotherapists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978.  Their work showed that “many women with notable achievements also had high levels of self-doubt.  This deep lack of confidence – which couldn’t be equated with anxiety or other disorders – appeared to involve a deep sense of inauthenticity…these individuals often believe they are ‘fooling’ other people, ‘faking it’ or getting by because they have the right contacts or are just plain lucky.”

One of my dearest friends was just offered a great position with Amazon.com.  When she told me she was going to be interviewing out in Seattle, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she’d blow them away.  She launched her career by taking an opportunity at a fashion startup and making herself indispensible – she taught herself to code on the job and forged her own niche in the company.  In spite of her tremendous success, she felt undeserving of the position.

I never understood how such a beautiful and accomplished woman could be so hesitant to embrace and espouse her own talents – to own up to her successes and not minimize her accomplishments – until I realized I was doing the same thing.

According to public speaker and consultant Valerie Young, Impostor Syndrome can prevent sufferers “from fully enjoying their success and seizing opportunities, and can cause them to overwork to compensate for supposed deficiencies…Internalizing these beliefs, rather than discussing them can lead to other emotional issues, including depression and low self-esteem. Over time, harbored Impostor Syndrome can make it difficult to accept praise for any level of accomplishment.”

Young identifies three elements at the heart of Impostor Syndrome:

1. A complex view of success
2. A warped definition of competence
3. The way we respond to failure

At SXSW, it’s easy to feel unsuccessful when it seems as though everyone around you is working for an up-and-coming start-up or an agency that wields tremendous clout, and within a few hours of my arrival, the Impostor Syndrome had reared its ugly head. I began feeling like I had no right to be there, and that I had tricked myself into thinking I would “fit in” in the company of so many intelligent, motivated, and creative people.

After awhile, I realized that the vast majority of the attendees weren’t in their early 20s, and were there on behalf of their employer.  I was the exception to both of the rules, but in no way did that speak less of me.  It was easy for me to talk about nearly anything with them – and after successfully holding down my end of a conversation with Dan Ariely, I focused less on titles and agencies and more on the people themselves.

I also felt out of the loop (and thus inadequate) when my peers were name-dropping and discussing the merits of one tech blogger compared to another…which made it easy for me to fall into the second trap of the impostor syndrome: evaluating my competence and skills based something completely off-base; in this case, my name-dropping skills.  Paris Hilton can probably list off who’s who in the film industry, but that doesn’t mean she’s really an actress.  I reminded myself that competence isn’t contingent on one’s ability to keep up with casual industry banter, but rather, on successfully employing the skills and tools that drive the industry.

I went to SXSW because I’m passionate about what it is that I do; I wanted to seize the opportunity to learn from thought-leaders and connect with peers who have a similar inclination to be successful and stay on the cutting edge of an ever-evolving field.

Anyone who allows themselves to feel like an impostor in that situation is simply committing self-sabotage.

So, instead of damning myself to continue to feel discouraged, incompetent, or like a fraud, I readily admitted to not knowing Mark Cuban from Clay Shirky.  I owned the feeling that I was a bit overwhelmed, ridiculously excited, and completely out of my comfort zone.  And once I did so, I came into my own and had one of the best trips of my life.

Failing to acknowledge our own humanity — our insecurities as well as our talents and abilities — is the ultimate impostor act.

It still blows my mind that some organizations are genuinely unwilling to foray into social media.  One of the organizations I had the opportunity to work with was on the fence for months about launching a Facebook Fan page.   They attended several speaker events touting the value of social media, spoke with businesses who had embraced it, and had our firm put together a calendar of topics and comprehensive guidelines for the page.  In spite of developing a protocol for nearly every “what if” that could happen, they still put the kabosh on the idea.

Seeing the degree of corporate backlash and resistance social media advocates still face vaguely reminded me of some hard-wrought change that occurred a few thousand years ago.  Next time you run into a social media stone wall, take a few pointers from Moses (yes, the guy from the Bible; no, I’m not kidding).

1.  Be persistent, and present convincing arguments for your case.

It took Moses 10 times to finally get the go-ahead for his journey out of Egypt.  If you’re passionate about getting your organization to embrace social media, don’t give up the first time you’re shot down.  Ask again, and cite specific, concrete examples of similar businesses (preferably within your industry) that have seen results after adopting some degree of social media marketing.  Stay abreast of current trends, and condense any relevant research findings or studies into a brief format that you can quickly present to the gate keepers.  You can find some excellent examples of social media case studies here, here, and here.

2.  When you get the go-ahead, don’t dawdle.

You should be ready to pull the trigger the moment you get the green light to proceed.  It didn’t take the Israelites months to get out of Egypt; similarly, your plan requires an element of urgency.  Have a list of key industry and consumer contacts to follow on Twitter.  Know the hashtags that are popular with your target audience.  Push to get your social icons placed on your company’s homepage as soon as your pages are set up.   The longer you hesitate before jumping in, the more likely it is that your commitment to the initiative could be drawn into question (especially if you’ve been relentlessly pushing the idea for months).  Your organization’s naysayers will jump on the “lag time” to continue to argue against the idea; by getting off to a running start, you minimize their opportunity to do so.

3.  Work to get the big guy on your side from the get-go….

…so when your middle manager flips out and decides to rally the troops against you, you have the big guns to drown out his arguments.

4.  Set some “commandments,” but don’t try to control everything.

You don’t need a 50 page manual to dictate your social media policy.  If you develop a social media marketing plan that requires you to submit every tweet, update and link to legal for approval at least 30 days before you post them, you might as well nix the idea of “social.”  So much for timeliness and interaction.  You can’t program 90 tweets into Hoot Suite and leave it to run itself, hoping to God that no one tweets back something you may actually have to respond to.  When it comes to the rules, keep them clear, simple, and focused on the key issues.

5.  Know where you’re headed.

If you wield your social media tools correctly, odds are good that you have a community forming after a few months.  Your following may not rival that of Whole Foods Market, but don’t underestimate the power of connecting and engaging with just a few individuals who love your company and your product.  The question you need to continually remind yourself of is “where do I want to lead them?”  Do you want to use your interactions to conduct consumer research?  To get their ideas and feedback about new products?  You can’t simply tell them what it is your company is going to do – you need to create a flow of ideas and information that is both useful to them and makes them feel useful.  If you don’t, you provide no incentive for them to continue to follow you and invest their time with your brand.

When you make a promise to your community, deliver the goods.

Hopefully you’ll be able to do so without unleashing swarms of locusts.

This post is part of my series about Generation Y around the world.  You can read my previous posts here and here.

Generation C: What the “C” stands for (Creators? Communication? Content?) depends on who you ask, but the term coined in the mid-2000s puts a positive spin on New Zealand’s Generation Y demographic. The country’s youth could use a little positivity, especially in light of the alarming statistics about the state of young Kiwis’ mental and physical health.

Individuals aged 12-24 (who make up 20% of New Zealand’s population) have the highest rates of mental illness, suicide, teen pregnancy, and have suffered more injuries than youth in other OECD nations.  The country’s suicide rate is among the highest in the world – with 19.7 deaths per 100,000 among 15-24 year olds, and 18.6 per 100,000 among 25-34 year olds.  While still troubling, these numbers follow a downward trend in suicide rates since they peaked in the late 1980s.

In the not-so-distant past, young Kiwis were viewed as entitled and out of touch with reality.  Their countless questioning (earning them the nickname Generation Why?) irritated employers, and, as we’ve seen here in the U.S., sparked a barrage of articles and research about how to manage such an unruly group.

In her November 2009 article in the New Zealand Listener, Ruth Laugesen reports that many of the country’s conceptions about Generation C are incorrect; in fact, research indicates that Generation X had the roughest time transitioning from adolescence to adulthood.

“On a whole range of measures, they [Generation X] entered adulthood brooding and fed up. They had the lowest rates of employment, the highest rates of unemployment and benefit receipt, and the highest rates of youth suicide, and left New Zealand in the largest numbers,” writes Laugesen.

Business leaders in New Zealand seem to slowly be recognizing the value of the demographic of employees they once so casually wrote off as being “impatient, demanding, and adamant that they will change the world.“  At a round table summit held in November of 2009, participating CFOs described 20-something employees as being “creative agents of change.”

Paul Chambers, CFO of Meridian Energy, says “I see these people have converted from a drain into a resource…they pick up enough of the business to work more effectively.”

What Gen C been doing all along is now seen as something valuable, as it becomes more and more obvious that maintaining the status quo will do little to help the global economy recover.  “They ask questions about why – why do we do it this way?” noted one CFO.  Amazingly, when the questions of young employees are actually taken into consideration, they often “lead to different and more efficient ways of doing things.”

The organizations pointed out that as worst of the recession moves behind us and hiring picks up, young workers are likely to lose their sense of loyalty, and become job-jumpers again (their previous tendency to switch positions often was one of executives’ primary complaints about Generation C).  Perhaps this could be avoided if upper management continued to heed the suggestions of the youngest members of the work force – valuing their contributions and encouraging them to question and offer innovative ideas – even when external factors do not require it.

One thing I find to be interesting about the choice of words describing New Zealand’s Generation “C” is that they’re not age-specific.  Anyone, at any time, can decide to become a creator, a communicator, or to contribute content instead of merely consuming it.  Furthermore, the attributes that Generation C longs for in an employer (e.g., feedback, mentorship, advancement opportunities) are hardly limited to benefiting only their age cohort if applied to the entire workplace.

While not all that fundamentally different from “Gen Y” in the United States, Generation C has essentially rebranded as a “group of communicators and creators” – a move that could go a long way in correcting the negative stereotypes that continue to plague our generation.  Perhaps “Generation C” could come to be the global term to describe the group of tech-savvy, ambitious and highly-connected individuals whose flexibility and openness to change will usher in a new era of growth.

I’m always reading and discovering new information online, but I still miss having the structure and guided approach to new subject matter that a traditional college course provides.  I thought about taking a few courses at MATC or through the programs at the UW, but they’re not cheap, and I don’t necessarily want to commit 3 hours a night twice a week to something I’m just “doing for fun.”

Luckily for you and me, there’s a better (and cheaper) alternative.  You can learn from some of the nation’s best and brightest professors (for free!) from the comfort of your living room couch, thanks to the adoption of “Open Source” education at some of the most prominent universities in the U.S.

I’ve selected a handful (ok, it’s a pretty meaty handful, but there are so many interesting courses I couldn’t limit myself to just 5 or 10) for you to peruse and see if any strike your fancy.  You can find another nice listing of interesting courses here via OpenCulture.com.

Stanford makes a nice array of their courses available for free download on iTunes – often including video lectures and lecture notes.

Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders

The Future of the Internet

iPhone Application Development

MIT offers more than 1900 courses through their Open CourseWare initiative.

Bestsellers: Detective Fiction

Introduction to C++

Designing and Leading the Entrepreneurial Organization

Japan in the Age of Samurai – History and Film

Marketing Strategy

How to Stage a Revolution

Competitive Decision-Making and Negotiation

Entrepreneurial Marketing

Dynamic Leadership: Using Improvisation in Business

Writing and Experience: Exploring Self in Society

Writing on Contemporary Issues: Imagining the Future

A smattering of courses from Yale:

The American Novel since 1945

The Civil War and Reconstruction Era

The Psychology, Biology, and Politics of Food

University of California – Berkeley (most of these courses are audio-only)

Contemporary Japanese Literature

Introduction to Modern Japanese Literature and Culture

Psychology of Human Happiness

Foundations of American Cyberculture

Buddhist Psychology

Shakespeare

Have you downloaded/used any open source course materials before?  Is it something you could see yourself doing?

Unless the above question was coupled with a mandatory relocation to No-Mans-Land, Idaho, I can’t think of a single one of my peers who would say no to a promotion.  While I like to think I surround myself with a group of motivated and career-oriented friends, I truly believe that most Generation Y professionals bear little resemblance to the slackers in Office Space.  Though we may have seen the movie a thousand times (and dreamed of carrying out our own DIY cubicle improvements), when given the opportunity to advance in the workplace, we relish it.

Although I largely disagree with the majority of criticisms the rest of the world levels against the United States, one I do agree with is our relative ignorance of current events in other cultures.  In our writing, many Gen Y bloggers (myself included) often make sweeping generalizations about our entire generation.  While many of these hold true, this article in the Wall Street Journal was a wake-up call to me.  We are a global generation, more connected than ever before, yet how much do we really know about our fellow twenty-somethings in China? India? Japan?

The Japanese have built a reputation as being a nation of incredibly driven, high-achieving work-a-holics.  We hear stories of “salarymen” who work 20 hour days and see their families only on weekends, but that legacy could stand to change with Generation Y.  Salarymen, step aside: enter the hodo-hodo zoku, or “so-so folks.”  The WSJ’s Hiroko Tabuchi proclaims that Japan’s newest phenomenon is “many young workers…shunning choice promotions – even forgoing raises – in favor of humdrum jobs with minimal responsibilities.”

Boku, Otaryman

Twenty-somethings have so embraced the hodo-hodo mentality that Boku, Otaryman, one of the most popular mangas in Japan, chronicles the unhappyday-to-day existence of its author.  The title stems from a combination of “salaryman” and “otaku,” a word “often used to describe a socially inept young man obsessed with comics, computers, or anime.” Yoshitani,  the manga’s author and a systems engineer salaryman, began the comic on his webpage.   “There are more and more people who want to do things hodo-hodo,” he says. “I actually don’t know anyone who wants to be promoted.”

Thirty years ago, nearly 40% of the employees at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government took exams to advance to higher-level management positions.  The prestigious employer now reports that only 14% of eligible employees take the exam.  The lackadaisical work ethic of Japan’s 20 and 30-somethings has opened a window of opportunity for clerical workers – mostly women in their 40s – to step into management positions.

In conducting a global work force survey of 18 countries, consulting firm Towers Perrin found that only 3% of Japanese workers “were willing to do extra work to add value to their companies.”  The global average?  21%.  It’s estimated that 620,000 young men in Japan drift in and out of employment, and are often far more devoted to their personal interests and endeavors than those of their employer.  They’ve been given their own own classification as NEETs: Not in Education, Employment, or Training.

Chiaki Arai points to Japan’s decade long economic slump as the source of the hodo-hodo, saying “young Japanese saw the dreams of the older generations vaporize amid job cuts and corporate reorganizations.  They became skeptical about the value of hard work.”

Given our current economic climate, do you think America’s tweens will take a similar attitude when they enter the workforce in 10-15 years?  Have you ever turned down a promotion?

Over the next month, I’ll be writing a series of posts about Generation Y around the globe.  If you have any insights you’d like to share, I’ve love to hear from you!

When asked about the majority of the successes in your life, which statement are you more likely to agree with?

-       I just got lucky – right place, right time.
-       My success is the result of my hard work and the decisions I’ve made.

When I took Management & Human Resources, one topic in the course that piqued my interest was locus of control.  In the 1960s, Julian Rotter investigated the implications of our tendency to attribute successes and failure to internal forces (those we have control over), or to external forces (those outside of our influence).  We fall into one of two camps – Internals “do things” and Externals “have things happen to them.”

I took Rotter’s test, and (big shocker here) I have a strong internal locus of control.  While this might serve me well in the long run, it’s been hard for me to accept that certain things really are out of my control.  I can’t tell you how much time I spent wondering what more I could do or what I should have done differently during the job hunt last year.  Other students had no problem blaming their their lack of job prospects on the economy; I, on the other hand, lost sleep, was generally unhappy, and an anxiety level that probably rivaled Christian Siriano’s on the final episode of Project Runway.

The economic environment of the past few years has put a damper on the moods of many in Generation Y.  However, you might be surprised to find that even during the tech boom of the 1990s, young people weren’t as happy as their parents had been at their age.  In fact, the happiness of young people has been declining since the 1950s, while our levels of depression and anxiety have been on the uptick.

So, what does all of this happiness stuff have to do with our locus of control?

After analyzing the results of studies using Rotter’s Scale with young people,  Jean Twenge of San Diego State University found that from 1960 to 2002, “average scores shifted dramatically…for college students–away from the Internal toward the External end of the scale. In fact, the shift was so great that the average young person in 2002 was more External than were 80% of young people in the 1960s. The rise in Externality on Rotter’s scale over the 42-year period showed the same linear trend as did the rise in depression and anxiety.”

A shift toward an external locus of control means that many of us believe we no longer have control over our destinies.  In spite of the abundance of educational opportunities, a level of global interconnectedness never before seen, and the power to share our ideas with the world with the click of a button, Twenge’s research shows that we feel our fate is “out of our hands.”  If we truly believe that the events of our lives are often completely out of our control, it’s easy to see why we feel anxious and unhappy.  While having an external locus of control isn’t all bad, “internals” are more likely to succeed, strive to achieve, and take advantage of opportunities to develop their abilities and skills.

Twenge surmises that the change in our locus of control is correlated to the changing nature of the goals we set out to achieve.  Intrinsic goals relate to personal growth and development; extrinsic goals often include money, power, status, or image. She notes that for many young people, success means being financially well-off or attractive.  After reading her study, I realize that the goals I was striving for were nearly all external, while I remained stubbornly rooted in my internal locus.  I wanted the prestige of launching a career with one of Fortune’s top companies, a great studio apartment in some big city,  and a nice paycheck. Learning to cede some degree of control to outside forces is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it’s allowed me to live a life that doesn’t involve “what-ifing” myself into misery. I’ve realized that succeeding in opportunities I find personally fulfilling is much more satisfying than accumulating “stuff.”

If Twenge is right, and our Generation has adopted the view that our fate is out of our hands…well, being able to roll with the punches is great, but at some point, we have to punch back.  We’re not floating helplessly through the universe, subject to the mercy of the tides and the arrangements of the stars.  We have control over our destinies.  If the outside world isn’t presenting the right opportunities, we can take the initiative to create opportunities for ourselves. We can stop focusing on the American ideal of success and define success on our own terms.

Let’s not wait for life to happen to us.

Where do you fall on Rotter’s Locus of Control?  Do you think it impacts your motivation to tackle challenging situations in your life?

While in college, I interned in a pretty diverse array of work environments (corporate, recently-launched small business, and an internet startup).   While I loved the nature of my work at the startup, navigating the office culture proved to be quite the quagmire.  Come time for a meeting, and the team was cohesive, collected, and enthusiastic.  Behind closed doors, the “unified front” was anything but…particularly between the women in the office.

As soon a colleague was out of earshot, the claws came out. The griping wasn’t always unfounded, but it put me in an awkward situation as an intern who had no prior knowledge of the office’s rather tumultuous history.  Aside from generally making me feel uncomfortable, it opened my eyes to just how nasty cloak-and-dagger office politics can be.  I’d experienced some degree of not-so-friendly female rivalry in the classroom, but I’d always assumed that females felt a strong sense of camaraderie in the workplace.  After all, we still make up only 15.7% of officers in Fortune 500 corporations, and there are hundreds of professional networking associations whose sole mission is empowering women to help other women succeed.

Glenn Close & Rose Byrne on FX's Damages

Apparently, I assumed wrong.  Those “female compatriots” often turn out to be wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Grace wrote a great post last September about the rise of female bullying in the workplace.  The same Workplace Bullying Institute study she cites also found that in addition to targeting female coworkers 71% of the time, female bullies use different tactics than their male counterparts.  Men tend to favor more outright forms of bullying such as verbal abuse, while women prefer more under-the-radar techniques including sabotage and abuse of authority.

In her book Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega discusses women’s “relational aggression” and how it often manages to pass unnoticed in the workplace (unless, of course, you’re the target of said aggression).  The Harvard Business Review explains that such relational aggression includes “rumor mongering, sabotage, exclusion, and public ridicule, all carefully calculated to wreak havoc in the lives of targets.”  Is anyone else having haunting flashbacks of middle school? HBR goes on to urge managers not to dismiss this aggression as something women need to “just get over;” it has a lasting impact on the workplace environment and, more importantly, real implications for the organization’s bottom line.  (Of course, some issues become overblown and aren’t worth the hassle: we as employees need to learn to distinguish between true bullying and personally overreacting to criticism or a comment.)

I’ve caught myself being unfairly critical of other females (cue snarky “who does she think she is?”), but have realized that my initial reaction often stems from my own jealousy or feeling like my “turf” is threatened.  When you recognize that someone has more talent than you, it’s easy to try to bring them down or minimize their accomplishments. Instead, opt for taking a long, hard look at why and how it is they’re great at what they do and learn from it.  Ask them for their advice.  Challenge yourself to step up your game.  And, if the situation is appropriate, collaborate; don’t compete.

I’m not advocating for the preferential treatment of women by their female colleagues, but I’d encourage all females (and males, for that matter) to treat your co-workers the same way you’d want your sister or friend to be treated.  And, if you’re going to be a big mean jerk, be gender neutral when unleashing the wrath.